Divorce Helper

Divorce can be – and almost always is – an expensive event. It is prudent, therefore, to set yourself out to be as frugal as possible. To this end, here are a few basic tips to help you save some money when you enter into the divorce process.

Enter Into A Written Agreement With Your Divorce Attorney

Whatever fee structure you agree with your attorney, get a written copy of it. Know exactly where you stand in relation to extra charges, and understand exactly what it is that you are paying for.

Don’t think of a lump-sum agreement as a cheaper option, because it will rarely be so. If it is cheaper, then that just means that the divorce attorney is not spending as much time on your case as he or she should be.

Read more on Written Agreements And Your Divorce Attorney.

Use Your Divorce Attorney’s Time Wisely

To this end, remember that your Divorce Attorney Is Not A Therapist, and remember not to use your Divorce Attorney To Negotiate The Division Of Personal Items between the parties.

You are paying for your divorce attorney’s time, so they will most likely be more than happy to help in menial work that doesn’t really require their attention. If you really want to maximize their usefulness and minimise your costs, then be very carefully about what you have them doing.

Going into meetings and starting telephone calls with a clear plan of action will avoid any unnecessary delays and save costs. Plan ahead.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming that cheaper attorneys are better value for money

The old adage that you get what you pay for is never truer when it comes to your divorce attorney. Just don’t pinch pennies. Remember that good work at the start of the divorce case can lead to a more satisfying settlement at the end. Every dollar you spend at this stage could be worth 5 or 10 times as much at the end. If you skimp and go for a divorce attorney at half the price, you could lose money. It just doesn’t make financial sense.

Read more: Don’t Be Cheap With Your Divorce Attorney.

Introduction

Alimony is the amount paid by one spouse to another to ensure financial support continues after the marriage. Traditionally – and historically – alimony was paid by the husband to the wife. In modern times the courts have begun to take a view of the relative financial situations of the two parties before making a decision on the amount of alimony paid between one party and the other.

The concept of alimony originates from the obligation of married partners have a legal obligation to support each other throughout the marriage (or civil union). Naturally this concept is only applicable in societies where the laws of marriage dictate that the parties have this obligation.

Some Dictionary Definitions

Law. an allowance paid to a person by that person’s spouse or former spouse for maintenance, granted by a court upon a legal separation or a divorce or while action is pending.

alimony. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.classic.reference.com/browse/alimony (accessed: June 03, 2009).

Law. An allowance for support made under court order to a divorced person by the former spouse, usually the chief provider during the marriage. Alimony may also be granted without a divorce, as between legally separated persons.

alimony. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Retrieved June 03, 2009, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.classic.reference.com/browse/alimony

1. Maintenance; means of living.
2. (Law) An allowance made to a wife out of her husband’s estate or income for her support, upon her divorce or legal separation from him, or during a suit for the same. –Wharton. Burrill.

alimony. Dictionary.com. Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary. MICRA, Inc. http://dictionary.classic.reference.com/browse/alimony (accessed: June 03, 2009).

If you are frugal about hiring a divorce attorney, then you could pay for your cheapness later. Whilst it might seem sensible to get attorney ‘A’ who is half the price of lawyer ‘B’ on an hourly basis, you’ve really should be asking yourself why there is such a price differential.

Experience

Sometimes – okay, a lot of the time – an attorney will be charged out based on his or her experience level. Yes, there are some very, very good attorneys who are simply inexperienced. They may just charge less for another, innocent reason. The majority of the time, though, you will probably get what you pay for.

In the divorce game, experience can play a huge role, especially if there is complex negotiations to carry out.

Work Ethic

Attorney A – he’s half the price of attorney B – might take on twice the number of clients to make sure he’s billing as much per month as his more expensive colleague. Fine, but will he have time for you and your case? Or will you be another cheap trick? Another ‘lesson’ on the way to being a ‘real attorney’?

This is not to say that the more expensive lawyer will be harder working or more diligent on your behalf, but the sensible money would be on her being just that. Again, you likely get what you pay for.

Return On Investment

It might be strange to think of a return on investment when we are dealing with an emotive subject like divorce, but that’s exactly what you should be thinking about. If you invest $5,000 in attorney ‘A’ and he comes back with a settlement of $20,000 then you’ve got back four times what you paid, or $15,000 more than your outlay. Not bad! Good job attorney A!

If, on the other hand, you pay $20,000 to attorney B and she comes back with a monster settlement of $100,000? That’s five times what you paid, and $80,000 more than your initial outlay. Wow.

Obviously attorney B is the better deal. These figures are a little way out, and there are probably very few situations where you will get such a big differential, but they serve to illustrate the point.

Difficult

Now if only you knew these figures before you chose the attorney that was going to represent you. Everything would be just fine and dandy. You can’t, though, and it’s never going to be that easy.

Choosing a divorce attorney is never going to be easy, but just don’t be tempted to go for the cheapest option just because the bill looks like it will be smaller. By all means assess this attorney on his merits, but don’t be swayed too much by those $$ signs.

If you’re going through the divorce process, then there will come a point where you and your ex-spouse need to decide who gets what. All those CDs you bought together? The TV? The bed? Who gets all these things?

Liquidate Your Possessions?

Sometimes the divorce courts will require the divorcing parties to liquidate their assets so that they can be split. Sometimes one party will buy the other’s share of whatever asset is in dispute.

Whilst liquidating and splitting the asset like this might be feasible with large and expensive assets like land, houses, 401ks and the like, it’s hardly going to work with your TV (unless you have a pretty special TV, of course…).

Bring In The Divorce Attorney?

Your divorce attorney is there to help you, but his or her job is not to divide the blankets and towels. Whilst some divorce attorneys will be more than happy to bill you for their time in sorting out this minor issues, they are a very, very expensive option.

Leave the lawyers and attorneys to sort out the law and make sure you file forms correctly and on time. Leave them out of disputes over minor items that – more than likely – will descend into bickering.

Ideally…

Ideally the final divorce agreement will say something to the effect of

The parties will each retain ownership of all personal effects currently in their possession

and that will be that. Of course the essential ingredient required for this to work is that the possessions have already been divided, and are with their owners. The parties must have come to some kind of agreement – or an impasse – where they are not too embittered about losing their favorite teddy bear.

If You Can, Be Reasonable

There has to be some give and take in these situations. Is the kitchen table worth arguing over for an hour? Do you really want to add more stress to a stressful situation by arguing over these little things? Reach a compromise and move on. You might not get the vacuum cleaner you want, but you got the work bench, so that’s ok, Move on to the next part of your life, and buy another vacuum cleaner!

Oh, and don’t get your attorney involved…

A good divorce attorney can be expensive. A good divorce attorney can be worth their weight in gold, bringing you benefits – or saving you money – that is worth many more times their fees. There are a few ways to engage your divorce attorney, and while the final choice will be down to you and influence heavily by your personal situation, there are some methods of engagement that are better than others.

Flat Fee Engagement

A flat fee arrangement with your divorce attorney might seem like an attractive proposition: you know where you stand, and there is unlikely to be any hidden surprises in the bills.

However, beware this approach. The things that your divorce attorney will and will not do for this flat fee will likely be set out quite strictly, and in actual fact you might find that the surprises in the bills are down to things that you thought you had paid for. Even if your attorney is not going to charge you for ’surprise’ items, then bear in mind that they have little or no motivation to do any more than is absolutely necessary.

What is to stop a divorce attorney taking on 200 clients in a month, all on a flat fee basis? Will the attorney be able to handle all of these divorces properly? Of course not! Of course a good professional shouldn’t be influenced by the way he or she is paid, but in reality there will be at least some (perhaps unconcious) reaction resulting from it.

If you want to go down this route then make sure you have a written agreement setting out what exactly you will get for your money. And monitor it.

Pay By The Hour

Paying by the hour – the alternative to a flat fee price – introduces its own pitfalls: what if your attorney charges time for things that you thought were covered? Will they charge for any phone calls you make into the office? Writing letters to you or your spouse? Traveling time from their office to the courts? What else?

A divorce attorney lying about the hours spent on a case would be acting fraudulently, and it is unlikely that they will risk their careers for a few extra dollars an hour. But setting out in writing what you will and will not be charged for will save any embarrassments later.

Retainer

Many attorneys will ask for a retainer upfront. Your fees (if you are paying by hour) will be taken out of this retain until there is nothing left. Any further costs will be chargeable separately. A retainer is fairly common practice, but make sure you’re made aware if it – and the size of this retainer – before you start. You don’t want to be hit with a bill for $20,000.00 before anything kicks off if you’re struggling to pay for the groceries. Check if the retainer can be refunded, too.

Quotation

Getting an accurate quotation – or an estimate – is a difficult proposition. Unless your case is a very simple one, then the attorney cannot know what surprises lurk around the corner. If something unexpected crops up, or if the other party is being deliberately difficult, or if the financial affairs are hidden or are particularly complex, then the estimate can soon be gone.

A lawyer who gives an estimate is likely to be setting him or herself up for a no-win situation: hit the estimate and it’s not more than you expect; miss it by a few thousand dollars and they’ve got a seriously annoyed client on their hands.

If you do get an estimate then remember that it is only a rough estimate of the work as seen at the time the estimate was given. Divorce attorneys are good, but they cannot see into the future.

Written Terms

Make sure all terms of our agreement are written down. It doesn’t take long to set these things out on paper, and it can save a lot of problems later. If your divorce attorney is reluctant to sign a contract agreeing to the terms then it’s time to find another one.

The divorce attorney is seen by many as a necessary evil in the unfortunate process of divorce; some people just see them as plain evil. Divorce attorneys can be very expensive, but they can also make their fees back ten-fold.

Given that they are expensive, though, don’t waste their time! Your divorce attorney is not your therapist.

Shoulder To Cry On

Divorces are stressful and it is very comforting to have a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes this shoulder just isn’t easy to find. Your spouse clearly isn’t the best place to start, and any mutual friends you have might not want to get involved in what is undoubtedly a messy situation. You may feel uncomfortable telling friends and family your innermost feelings about that person that you married.

In many cases, the only shoulder husbands and wives have had for the years of their marriage is that of their partner. Now this shoulder is gone, they just don’t know where to go to for sympathy.

So when this distraught person is in the divorce attorney’s office, opening their heart and soul to someone that they trust – and, what’s more, that person appears to be listening to them! – then it is only natural that that person will feel the urge to just let go and tell all. Don’t fall into the temptation.

Lose Lose Situation

There are two things that could happen when you start using your divorce attorney as your therapist:

• they could tell you to stop wasting their time; or
• they could listen with sympathy, pass the tissues, and charge you $300/hour for the privilege. Most likely an actual therapist will be much cheaper

Either way you’re going to lose. Either you’ll feel bad when your attorney tells you to shut it, or you’ll feel even worse when you get the bill.

Be Prepared

Time is money, so being prepared before you visit (or just talk to) your divorce attorney is always the sensible thing to do. Having something focussed to discussed should also prevent you from wandering into the realms of self-despair and anguish.

Be honest, be prepared, be clear, and listen attentively. Your divorce attorney is there to help you, but he or she is not your friend; just as you wouldn’t expect good legal advice from a friend, there’s no reason you should expect sympathy from a legal professional.

If you want to calculate the potential alimony payments you will have to pay or will receive, then here’s a piece of bad news: it really isn’t as simple as that. The courts will take a long, long time deliberating over this subject, and they do this with the help of experts and professionals. To hope to be able to calculate the figure on the back of a notepad is, well, a little ambitious.

Interestingly this contrasts vividly with child support where the payments there are decided pretty much through a set of well-known and well-understood formulae.

Having said that, there are some rules of thumb that you can take into consideration, and some pointers that you might pay heed to in order to have a rough guess at the magnitude of potential payments.

Some Rough Pointers

The divorce courts look at some specific areas in order to determine alimony. While the particular areas – and the weight, if any, that they hold – will change from state to state, there are some that crop up in most state’s laws.

Length Of Marriage

The first question, and possibly the one most likely to sway the figure one way or the other, is the length of the marriage. Generally, the longer the marriage the more alimony will be due. Why is this? Well the courts’ view is that if one party in the marriage has sacrificed their earnings – and their earning capacity – for a longer length of time, then they are in worse off financially than they would be if they hadn’t married. This is particularly applicable in situations where, for example, the husband goes off to work while the wife stays at home and looks after the children. In today’s modern world these roles could be reversed, of course, but the principle remains constant.

And this neatly brings us onto the next point which the courts may choose to asses: employment status of the spouse seeking alimony in the divorce.

Employment Status

One spouse being – in the courts’ parlance – underemployed for a number of years will effect the alimony payments due to them. Again, the rationale behind this is that the underemployed partner has sacrificed some or all of his or her earnings in order to better look after the family.

If the potential a partner to obtain suitable employment – at a pay rate that will adequately suit his or her needs – then the courts may rule that that person does not require alimony in order to carry on living in the manner in which they are accustomed. For this judgment, age, education, work history, and the age of any dependents will all be considered.

If one party or the other has a debilitating disability or illness then this will be considered, too. Not only will it affect the capacity for work, but it could well introduce costs of its own that need to be settled by the disabled spouse. In these cases the courts would be more likely to require alimony payments be paid to the disabled spouse.

Assets And Divorce Alimony

If one party is set to receive generous assets – perhaps the house in which the family lived or a trust fund – then the courts will take this into consideration when assessing the divorce alimony request.

Other Issues To Consider

Alimony payments may be taxable to the recipient and tax deductible for the payor. This might work for or against either side, depending on the situation, and both sides may agree a better way to spread the costs. Naturally your divorce attorney will be able to help and advise on this side of things.

No Easy Way

From the start we noted that there was no clear and easy way to calculate how much divorce alimony would be paid – or would be due – to either party. Hopefully you will now see that this is the case. At the same time you should now see that there are a few easy ways to assess you and your spouse’s life situation in relation to alimony payments.

Health insurance is not, perhaps, one of the most exciting topics of thought at the best of times. If you are suffering under the stress and confusion associated with a divorce then you are more thank likely going to want to just sweep it under the carpet and forget all about it.

Big mistake.

If you or your spouse are lucky enough to work in a job where your employer provides health insurance, then divorce can really make this side of things difficult. If, for example, the husband in a couple works at a high-paying job and gets the family’s health insurance paid by the employer, what happens if the couple divorce? Does the husband trot off into the distance with the health insurance, leaving the wife uncovered? Does the wife take it? Should they split it? How does that work? Of course if, as consequence of the divorce, the husband is no longer a part of the family, then the health insurance will not likely cover the other members of this unit.

Separation Agreement

If indivisible benefits like health insurance prove to be too much of a barrier to splitting up, then the husband and wife can enter into a separation agreement which postpones the final decision to divorce. This might not work for every couple, but it might also provide an invaluable middle-ground that allows all parties to get accustomed to the split. In addition, the family is still a family so still enjoys the benefits of health insurance.

A separation agreement might be a great idea whether you are struggling with the costs of splitting health insurance or not.

Separation Agreement And Taxes?

Separating in a formal sense might work well for health insurance benefits, but it might have knock-on effects on, for example, taxes. It is important that everyone’s friend the divorce attorney is drafted in to advise on the matter.

If the relationship is in a state that allows an amicable settlement like this in order to preserve the general good, then there is a excellent chance that some agreements can be reached.

CORBA Health Insurance Coverage

CORBA is a federal law which allows someone who is covered under a health insurance policy to continue that policy. The continuation of that policy will be at the cost of the person (or people) who benefit from it, but means that the families who lose the health insurance benefits afforded to an absent spouse are not simply dumped.

In certain circumstances the CORBA law means that the employer who previously covered the entire family will be obliged to cover the divorce husband and wife separately, at least for a limited period. The most likely situation would require that the extra cover provided by the employer eventually be covered the party that benefits.

CORBA may be a way to split the health insurance neatly, with the cost of the coverage for a limited time becoming part of the settlement.

As always it is difficult to figure out you exact entitlements, requirements or obligations without turning to a professional. Once again the divorce attorney will be the one to tell you everything that you need to know.

People in the midst of a divorce are bitter. This is completely understandable and is perhaps the most natural way to approach such a terrible situation. When in this state of mind, and when trying to secure the best future for themselves (and perhaps their children, too), people may be tempted to hide their assets.

Rationale

The rationale behind hiding assets from their spouses is that, if they don’t know about it, then they – and the divorce courts – cannot have a piece of it. They may see these assets as being rightfully theirs, or they may just be greedy about keeping it all for themselves. The rationale might be a fear of not having enough once the divorce is finished to be able to support themselves or their children.

Whatever the rationale behind hiding assets from their spouses – and from the divorce process and its administrators – the idea is a very bad one. Not only is hiding assets illegal, but it simply doesn’t lend itself to an equitable split. We are not trying to judge people or to arbitrate on situations that we don’t know anything about, but these are purely the facts on a logical level.

Tell Your Divorce Attorney

Being absolutely honest with your divorce attorney is without a doubt the best policy. On the other side of the coin, if you suspect your ex-spouse is lying – or asset hiding – then tell your divorce attorney immediately. Something can be done, whether it is now, or whether the behaviour is used as a bargaining chip later in the divorce process. Remember: you know your spouse better than anyone, so it is largely up to you to ‘blow the whistle’ on such behaviour.

Know What Assets You Have

In order to be aware of the potential problem of asset hiding, you need to be fully informed about the assets; if you don’t have the full picture then you simply can’t expect to be able to expect when something untoward occurs.

Compilation of documents before divorce starts may be one option open to you. Think bank statements, checks, receipts pension or 401k statements, bills, and anything else you can think of. Records of any real estate you own should be easy to find (but it’s unlikely that your spouse can attempt to hide the value of your house from the courts: it’s simply too obvious).

If you do not have access to your financial documentation then you might want to try to contact the IRS. At the very least you can obtain any tax returns that you have signed in the past. Remember to have these things mailed to a different address so that you spouse is not aware that you are collecting this information.

Check the transfers out of your bank accounts, and see if your spouse is not transferring money to a private account that you are not aware of. Likewise check that they are not transferring money to someone else with the idea that they will hold on to it for the duration of the divorce.

Valuables

Catalog all the valuables in your house. Make a list of all vehicles, antiques, jewelery, art, or anything else of value. If you have any appraisals of the value of these things then that’s great! Make copies of these, too. Unfortunately it is not that uncommon for people to try to hide items of value once a divorce starts. If there is no record then there is no way for you to prove what was originally there.

Once you’ve collected all this information, give it to your divorce attorney. It might seem like all this sneaking around is tantamount to spying, but remember that the only reason you were driven to this is that your spouse was attempting to hide things from you!

Your divorce attorney can subpoena records if he or she knows something is amiss. Give your advocate this chance by providing the absolute best basis you can.

Some useful links for you to you to take a look at. Please note: these are sites that we find interesting and useful, but we are not affiliated with them nor do we endorse the information or services contained in any of the sites.

• Manhattan NY divorce attorney Ingrid Gherman.
• Mary E. Ramos is a Houston Divorce Lawyer committed to the practice of, amongst other things, divorce mediation.
• Millennium Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys have developed a site dedicated to providing information and help on divorce law, child custody, divorce papers, forms and other issues concerning family law.
• Louisville Divorce Attorneys | Kentucky Family Law - Barrow & Weigel is a small Louisville Kentucky with a focus on family and divorce law.
• More general web resources Abiz Web Directory.