A Divorce Attorney Is Not A Therapist
The divorce attorney is seen by many as a necessary evil in the unfortunate process of divorce; some people just see them as plain evil. Divorce attorneys can be very expensive, but they can also make their fees back ten-fold.
Given that they are expensive, though, don’t waste their time! Your divorce attorney is not your therapist.
Shoulder To Cry On
Divorces are stressful and it is very comforting to have a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes this shoulder just isn’t easy to find. Your spouse clearly isn’t the best place to start, and any mutual friends you have might not want to get involved in what is undoubtedly a messy situation. You may feel uncomfortable telling friends and family your innermost feelings about that person that you married.
In many cases, the only shoulder husbands and wives have had for the years of their marriage is that of their partner. Now this shoulder is gone, they just don’t know where to go to for sympathy.
So when this distraught person is in the divorce attorney’s office, opening their heart and soul to someone that they trust – and, what’s more, that person appears to be listening to them! – then it is only natural that that person will feel the urge to just let go and tell all. Don’t fall into the temptation.
Lose Lose Situation
There are two things that could happen when you start using your divorce attorney as your therapist:
- they could tell you to stop wasting their time; or
- they could listen with sympathy, pass the tissues, and charge you $300/hour for the privilege. Most likely an actual therapist will be much cheaper
Either way you’re going to lose. Either you’ll feel bad when your attorney tells you to shut it, or you’ll feel even worse when you get the bill.
Be Prepared
Time is money, so being prepared before you visit (or just talk to) your divorce attorney is always the sensible thing to do. Having something focussed to discussed should also prevent you from wandering into the realms of self-despair and anguish.
Be honest, be prepared, be clear, and listen attentively. Your divorce attorney is there to help you, but he or she is not your friend; just as you wouldn’t expect good legal advice from a friend, there’s no reason you should expect sympathy from a legal professional.
