Divorce Helper

Divorce is a complex, emotionally draining beast. At best it is complex; at worst it is completely impenetrable. Getting lost in the maze of legal documents, details required, disagreements between the parties, document submission requirements, and the myriad of other responsibilities is really a very common thing to happen. Hiring a good divorce attorney is a natural step which can ease a lot of the pressure. But there are few things you should bear in mind when trying to negotiate the divorce settlement. This article will set out some of the simple things you can do to get the best divorce settlement you can.

Flexibility And Negotiation

The first thing is to stay as flexible as possible. Negotiate and be reasonable. You have to weigh up how much you want – in material terms – out of the divorce. If having a less stressful divorce is more important to you than, say, future maintenance payments, then you might be able to get through this messy situation with a minimum of stress. At the same time you need to stay absolutely firm about your rights. Only let the other party gain ground if it suits you.

Mediation

Mediation is a semi-formal process where the parties – with the help of their respective divorce attorneys, negotiate alimony, child support and a division of assets and any liabilities that might be jointly held. Child custody will also need to be discussed.

Trial

Taking the divorce to a trial is a bad idea, and in this situation everyone loses. It is much better to negotiate and perhaps lose a little than go to a trial and lose a lot. Trials are very expensive, and the outcomes can be a little unpredictable. A trial will also guarantee that the divorce runs for longer than would perhaps otherwise be the case.

If there are children involved in the divorce then you need to be doubly careful about the length of time the divorce takes. Children can take the splitting of their parents very badly indeed, so try not to extend the agony.

Be Logical

You may feel better towards your future ex-spouse, but remember that blind hate is not the best attitude with which to approach divorce negotiations. If your ex-spouse or their lawyer says or demands something that you don’t agree to, then calmly decide on your answer. Shouting “I’ll see you in court!!” won’t solve anything. Do stand your ground, by all means, but try to be logical in the way you approach these things.

While you might think that the divorce is a miserable time for you, remember that your ex-spouse is feeling the same way. They will want to negotiate and get it over with. Use this to your advantage, but remember that he or she is a person, too.

If you’re heading into a divorce situation then there’s a good possibility that you’re going to need some serious professional help. Good divorce attorneys are hard to find, and they certainly come at a price, but if there’s a lot of money, property, or some children at stake, then you should get the best help you can afford. A good attorney will pay for himself or herself in a very short time. Think: this could severely effect the future of your children. Don’t go for the cheap option or take any shortcuts.

The Selection Process

Actually selecting the right divorce attorney is a stressful experience in itself, but if you pick the right person then you can hand most of the stress over to them. Knowing that your affairs are in capable hands will allow you to relax a little.

Before you select a lawyer, find out what you are dealing with: if you think you and your ex-partner will be fighting to the bitter end, then you’ll most likely end up having a court decide on the matter. In cases where there isn’t so much of a gap in opinions, you might be able to get by with a dispute resolution process such as mediation. Different divorce attorney specialize in different aspects of the dispute, so picking the right one will be crucial. If you go to a larger firm of attorneys then there will likely be a specialist for everything, meaning that if the divorce doesn’t go the way you want it to (highly likely!) then there is expertise available to back you up.

The best way to get someone that you trust is to ask around. In this day an age, where the divorce rate in the States is hovering around 50%, everyone knows someone that has gone through a divorce. Ask around and get some solid recommendations from friends, family and colleagues.

Online research will play a big part in finding someone capable. Nearly all law firms have a web site you can look at. Outside of this direct approach there may be articles, news reports or even others telling the world about their experience with this attorney. All of these can be useful in getting a handle on the man or woman you are going to hire.

Finally, make sure you interview the prospective attorney. Interview others, too. Call around and chat with as many as you can. Part of the reason behind the success of so many attorneys is the way the listen and deal with you, the client. If you don’t like someone then don’t, under any circumstances, work with them.

The Consultation Process

Divorce Attorneys can be expensive. Be prepared when you talk to any of them. Bring notes, prepare your documentation, and think about the areas you want to talk to them about. The quicker you both get to the point, the cheaper and more efficiently the whole mess will be cleared up. If you’re doing this with a few attorneys around town then you want to be doubly prepared. Don’t waste their time and they won’t waste yours.

You have to be prepared to be brutally honest during any consultation with your attorney. You might have to divulge things that you would prefer to keep private; unfortunately, secrets are not an option. Remember this: your attorney has most likely seen it all before, and he or she is on your side.

Checking Out The Office…

When you pay for an attorney’s time, you’re also paying for the support they get from their office. Some attorneys are one-man-bands, and their prices should reflect that. On the other hand some of the bigger offices provide many more assistants for each attorney, and their improved systems may mean that they can do the same work in a fraction of the time. These are just rules of thumb, though, and the lawyer on his own could in fact be more efficient than the one in the large office…. Yes, you’re right, it’s not easy.

If the attorney does work on his own, then you should check his workload. If he’s brimming with clients then be aware that he might not give your case the time it deserves (and on the other hand this popularity might be because that divorce attorney is so good at his or her job!).

Be Comfortable And Get It Right

As noted earlier, the best divorce attorney is the one that you feel most comfortable with. If you hit it off with someone then they are more likely to do their best by you.

Your selection of a divorce attorney can mean a huge difference to the rest of your life (and potentially to the rest of your children’s lives, too). Take some time and make the right choice.

Getting divorced is never easy, and whichever process you use, whichever attorney you employ, there will be difficult times ahead. The sensible way is really to minimize the stress, pain, suffering and anxiety to the best of your ability.

One way to make the painful process less painful is to avoid divorce attorneys and avoid the courtroom. How? You can divorce online. Not only is this a quick and easy way to go about things, but you won’t have to talk to complete strangers about your most intimate personal and financial dealings.

Taking steps to divorce online is not for everyone – and in some very complex cases it might not even be possible – but for the vast majority of situations it can make everything so much easier.

Divorce Online: How Does It Work?

If you use an online form to start the divorce process, then you will be representing yourself. This is, as will be appreciated, a mixed blessing: you don’t have lawyers’ fees, but you don’t have their expertise either. The online service will provide guidance on how best to fill out and submit the forms, but essentially you will do most of the work and decision making yourself.

Local Legislation And Jurisdiction

Whether an online service is right for you might just come down to whether you are in the right jurisdiction… while most online divorce services will be able to cater for most jurisdictions, it is worth noting that a Decree valid in one state will vary slightly – or not so slightly – from Decrees valid for other states.

Sometimes some lower quality online divorce services just offer a generic form which may or may not be adequate. Don’t take the chance.

When Not To Use An Online Divorce Service

There are times when it is simply not feasible to use an online divorce service. These cases will usually be where the divorce is more complicated than can adequately be represented by a semi-automated service. Unfortunately only a qualified lawyer or divorce attorney will have the expertise to be able to resolve many of the questions raised in these more complex cases.

Children And Online Divorces

When there are children in a marriage, divorce instantly becomes a lot more complex. Given that it is the future of these young people you are dealing with, you really don’t want to jeopardize them by taking shortcuts. Hire a good lawyer and let them advise you.

Property And Online Divorce

Again, some of the online divorce services will claim to be able to deal with divorces where there are complex property ownership rights to be resolved. While they may, in theory, be able to do this, you really shouldn’t trust an automated process when there is so much at stake. If you can’t work out what is going on, then it is unlikely that an online divorce service will be able to, either.

When you throw real estate, 401k or pensions, retirement accounts, mortgages, debts, vehicles, business interests and any other financial liabilities or assets, then you’ve got a complex situation. On online form simply won’t cut it. Again, time to go and hire the best lawyer you can find.

Online Divorce: Should I Do It?

The conclusion to this article, and the answer to the question of whether you should use an online divorce service, is our old favorite: it depends. It depends on how complex the case is, and how confident you are at filling out and submitting forms. It can definitely be a good way to save thousands of pounds, a lot of time, and no small amount of stress and upset; it can also be a disaster waiting to happen. Many of these online divorce services are cheap, but do your research before you dive into something that could effect the rest of your life.

Divorce is a complex procedure that calls for good timing and exact documentation. At one of the hardest times in your life getting everything coordinated just right is difficult enough, but sometimes it’s not the overwhelming detail of the divorce process that causes people to feel despondent, it’s simply not knowing where to start.

Naturally every situation in which divorce becomes a possibility is completely different. Being in a unique situation does not mean that a few tips pointing you in the right direction cannot help, however, so read on.

Initial Steps

The process order depends on the law of the jurisdiction in which you reside, but most places follow this rough order:

The Petition (Or Complaint)

The Petition (sometimes called a Complaint) is a document that formally notifies both the spouse and the courts. This is the first step in making the divorce request an official one.

The Petition will likely not go into much detail about the reasons, terms and conditions of the divorce; it should give a very basic overview of what the spouse expects to be left with after the separation. Basic terms regarding child custody, support and visitation rights, as well as support payments and asset separation will likely be set out here. Most likely the requests will be higher than that the spouse actually expects to get, but starting higher leaves space for some bargaining later.

This first step is most likely going to require a lawyer or divorce attorney. They will no the exact form required, and will be able to advise on the terms that you include in the Petition.

Opposing Papers: The Response

The spouse on the receiving end of the Petition then has the chance to put forward his or her side of the case. It is important that this document is filed, since without it the spouse may lose their right to have their side of the case heard in the court. Again, this will likely be done with the help of an attorney; if you haven’t engaged the services of an attorney yet then now is probably the time.

Temporary Order

Temporary Orders are short-term rules that the parties must adhere to. They are issued so that both parties can live with some semblance of quality of life while the rest of the divorce proceedings are resolved.

Document Discovery

Discovery is the process by which both parties collect and present to the other the evidence that supports their case. In many simple cases this is a matter of just collecting together house valuations and bank statements. In others it can be much more complex and time-consuming. One side may decide that being awkward is the best policy in this case, and dealing with such a person may mean a long and drawn-out discovery process.

Dispute Resolution

Once all the documents have been collected, and both parties have had a chance to assess them, the dispute resolution will start. Depending on the complexity of the case, and on how close parties are to an agreement, the dispute resolution may take the form of Alternative Dispute Resolution or it might go straight to trial. Divorces settled by trial are usually expensive, difficult, and incredibly emotional. Most people will try to avoid this stage. Your attorney may be able to offer some good advice as to what route to take.

Conclusion

Divorcing someone – or being divorced – is never going to be easy, whatever way you look at it. Having a better idea of the steps involved might just serve to give you a broad perspective on what is likely to be happening to you at any one time.

Divorce attorneys are some of the best paid people in the country. Given that they can mean the difference of millions of dollars to wealthy ex-partners, it is no surprise that they can command astronomical pay packets from their clients. Unfortunately divorce is one of those regrettable necessities in life, and ever since the invention of the institution of marriage, there has been a need to ‘undo’ the knot that is tied.

When negotiation fails; when all other avenues are exhausted and when the spouses fail to reconcile their differences; this is when the divorce attorney steps in, usually as an advocate of one side or the other, and tries to make the best of a bad situation for his client.

Annulment

A good divorce attorney may first seek an annulment to the marriage. This is possible where either party can show that there was some fundamental defect present in the contractual agreement under which the marriage is made. The requirements to satisfy annulments to a voidable marriage are strict; your attorney will be able to tell you whether this is a potential route or not.

A divorce proper recognises that the institution of marriage is valid, and that one or both parties want to break from the agreement. If only one party wants the divorce then there must be some grounds for divorce: adultery, behaviour, or previous separation are all legitimate grounds for divorce. Once again, a divorce attorney will be able to tell you whether you have grounds or not.

Property And Money

The lion’s share of the time required by a divorce attorney is in the splitting of the couple’s property. A likely scenario will have both sides represented by an attorney, both of which are fighting to get the most for the person – or people – that they represent. The general rule of thumb is that each person will get 50% of the assets acquired during the marriage; this includes assets and debts.

Alimony payments stem from the situation where one party is unable to maintain themselves. In this case the husband or wife will support the other’s lifestyle for a period of time after the split.

Custody

The custody of children is a complex subject that we will not deal with here. Suffice to say that this is a big area in which a good divorce attorney can help.

Is It Worth It?

Hiring a divorce attorney can be a very expensive proposition; the more that is at stake, the more the cost of the support becomes worth it. A good divorce attorney can be worth their weight in gold.

The differences between a contested and uncontested divorce are actually quite clear and easy to grasp; it is one of the most common areas of confusion for those new to the quick fire and cutthroat world of divorces. This article will explain and demonstrate the differences between a contested divorce and an uncontested divorce.

Simply put, a contested divorce is one where both parties cannot completely agree on all the issues involved in their particular case. Some of the issues that can cause arguments are:

• The reason (grounds) for the divorce)
• The division of material assets relating to the partnership
• Maintenance payments (otherwise known as alimony)
• Payment of debts
• Custody and visitation rights if there are children involved.

All of these areas are very delicate, and can be causes for much distress and argument. Of course this is just a list of the most common areas of contest; there are potentially hundreds if not thousands of other things that ex-partners will drag up and argue about.

Disagreement

Unfortunately this disagreement is simply in the nature of things: people want to salvage as much as they can from the divorce. In addition they will want to cause as much trouble for their ex-partner as they can. Uncontested divorces are rare.

Those Divorce Lawyers

The cynic in me would like to point out that divorce lawyers generally don’t like uncontested divorces because there is very little for them to do. If there’s not much to do then they will not be receiving as much as they would like in fees. But, like I say, that might just be me being cynical.

A Divorce Changes…

The change between a contested divorce and uncontested divorce is not something that is absolute, and generally all filed divorces start as contested divorces and, through a gradual process of agreement, compromise, horse-trading and in many cases court intervention, all areas of disagreement are resolved. Once all items are resolved – even though they may not be resolved to the satisfaction of all the parties involved – then the divorce becomes uncontested and things can finally be wrapped up. Uncontested divorces progress much quicker and are settled much more economically than contested divorces.

The worldwide web is a fantastic resource. Not only does the web provide information on a overwhelming array of topics, it also offers tools which mean we can do things from the comfort of our homes which would previously have required a trip into town. Perfect examples of this – and you may have done these yourself – are online banking and online shopping.

Another area in which the Internet and the web have really helped is in the area of online divorces.

In this age of quick and easy marriage, there is often a call for quick and easy divorce. People are busy, and spending days – possibly weeks – discussing personal matters with an attorney is not high on our list of priorities. It’s a pretty uncomfortable situation to be in anyway; discussing our problems with a lawyer just feels degrading.

Online divorce services can avoid many of these problems, and provide a way to get he divorce process started – and completed – much more efficiently than was previously the case.

Advantages

The advantages of an online divorce are obvious:

• Speed
• Privacy
• No third parties involved
• Much, much cheaper
• Instant, in many cases

But there is always a flip side to every coin, and online divorce services are no different. There are some disadvantages that need to be considered:

Disadvantages

Some of the things to watch out for before you decide to divorce online:

• Online divorce is only likely to work for you if your divorce is an uncontested one
• It is so easy that people may jump to the decision to divorce prematurely

It is clear that these services can be enormously beneficial. In some cases lawyers’ fees creep into the tens of thousands of dollars; getting around these middlemen is quite clearly a good thing to do where possible.

It may be that the instant decision available when using online divorce services that is more beneficial to the parties involved than the savings gleaned. Then again, it may be the simple omission of third parties – and the lack of meetings and heart-breaking discussions with these same people – that encourage people to go the way of the online divorce.

Whatever the reasons, and given the right circumstances, online divorce services can reduce cost and stress associated with a divorce. Consider your options carefully.

Divorce is a upsetting and emotionally draining time. Not only do you have to deal with the personal and mental strains of breaking from someone you thought you would be spending the rest of your time with, but also the process itself can be stressful and demanding.

Despite all this, a little bit of rational thinking is required. There are certain divorce documents that you will need that will make the divorce process run that much more smoothly. Even if you don’t think that the other party will dispute the divorce, you should still ensure that these documents are available, and it is certainly the case that a bit of work tracking them down now will mean a lot less hassle if it does go to court.

Remember: always make copies and keep the originals in a safe place.

Relevant Correspondence
Letters, faxes, emails, or any other correspondence can be very beneficial to your case. Whether the correspondence is between you and your spouse, or one of the two parties and a third party, any documentary evidence can sway the final decisions.

Credit Card Statements And Records
Historical credit card statements will not only show the profile of spending that has been undertaken by the two parties, but can also provide vital evidence in the form of questionable transactions in unfamiliar places.

Income Documents And Payslips
Details of your and your spouse’s income will be required if there is any dispute over finances. Getting together as much historical data on these items will make future decisions by mediating parties much easier.

Bank Records
Details of bank accounts are one of the most important divorce documents. Balances and incomings and outgoings will be used to determine the financial status of both parties; from there the allocation of marital money can be determined. Bank records are also a good starting point for further investigation, and reading through the statements will definitely give you further ideas of what documents you need.

Retirement And Pension Funds
As well as your actual physical and liquid assets, a 401k or pension account can be a huge factor in apportioning the family wealth. Once again all statements and records should be gathered. Sometimes a pre-marriage balance can be a useful divorce document.

Details Of Debts
Any debts that you or your spouse has – or is responsible for – will need to be taken into account; these are another essential divorce document. Make sure you gather all the relevant details and as many historical records that you can muster.

Real Estate And Other Ownership Documents
A big chunk of your and your spouse’s illiquid wealth will probably be tied up in real estate. Details and valuations of this will be will required in order that your ‘real’ wealth can be assessed. Bear in mind that you may be required to sell some or all of the property, so you will need to dig out all the documentation needed for that, too.

And Finally…
Hopefully your divorce will be a quick and (relatively) painless one; you may not need the divorce documents described above. Unfortunately though an easy divorce is a rare thing, and it pays to be prepared when the time comes. A little work now can save a lot of time and stress in the future.